September 8, 2009

open with warning – before – before – before – 2003 – after


Tuesday, back to work

September 8, 2009

Well today was my first day back at work. I was looking forward to it and I wasn’t. I already miss not having anything to do all day haha. People welcomed me back and said I looked real good which was nice to hear. I thought I was going to get 20 questions all day by everyone, but it was more laid back then I thought.

I was sore all weekend from one little routine I did last week….crazy. Kim and I played tennis twice which was good. Tennis is my favorite cardio right now. I even like to watch it. I am going to workout before work tomorrow. The gym opens up at 5am and I have to be in work by 6:30….I can make it.

I am going to put up some before pictures of me, with after. Hopefully this will help people get an idea of what to expect with surgery. I couldn’t be happier.

This morning I went for a walk before my doctors appointment. The appointment was just a check up to see if all the scars are healing up nicely…which they are. My neck has some areas in which feels a little hard and stiff. This is normal during the healing phase. It is probably the last time I will see my doctor. She is leaving the hospital, because she wants more money and the hospital doesn’t want to give it to her. I guess I got everything done just in time, because I couldn’t be more happier about the results.

I got before pictures from her office of my body. I couldn’t believe what I used to look like. It made me feel kind of emotional. All of my life I felt disgust in myself. Looking at those pictures just made me remember how much I hated what I looked like and would do anything to look better. I guess thats why I am reaching my goals. Some people have to hit rock bottom to realize they are screwing up and when I was at my highest weight it hit me.

People say do not go into plastic surgery with high expectations….because you may be very disappointed. After I kept hearing this I had my doubts, because my case was pretty bad as compared to others. Losing over 225lbs at the time I had a lot of loose skin…way more than the normal plastic surgery patient.

After every surgery I felt amazing. The results are far better than I ever imagined….and the feeling is unbelievable. Even when I lost all the weight, I still felt like a prisoner in my own body. I was far better in health, but every time I looked in the mirror I just was in disgust. The funny thing is I wanted to first meet Kim after my surgeries, because I didn’t feel like I was good enough for her. I am very happy I chose to meet her before I had all of my surgeries, because I don’t know if things would be the same….and I don’t even wanna think about it. I wanted to see her so bad I didn’t care about my appearance anymore.

People ask me about my scars. They wonder if they will go away or if they bother me. To be honest, I didn’t worry at all about the scars. I’d rather have these scars than flabs of skin all over my body. If these scars fade, great…if they don’t I could care less. I never felt better in my life and I am proud of these scars.


September 2, 2009

Its a beautiful day outside today. This morning I went for a nice walk and it felt great. My hands were actually a bit chilly. I have missed the fall and glad it is coming around soon. Yesterday I went off my diet. I just ate pretty much all day. It was all decent foods, just a lot of it. Kim and I did have pancakes for dinner which was awesome. I could eat pancakes everyday.

Tomorrow I see my doctor for a check up. Everything seems fine. She is going to let me know if I can start working out again…if so I will be hitting the gym tomorrow! I have really missed it and wish I could have been working out all this time I have been off…oh well. Getting back into shape is very hard at first. I imagine I will be sore as hell after the first workout. I will take it easy though so we will see.

Today I am going to the italian market in Philly to sell some of my dvds to this lady who runs a store in there. Its a shame how much I am going to get for them compared to how much I really paid. Ever since I found Amazon I have bought all my movies and cds there… cheap (even with the shipping).


August 25, 2009

Today Kim woke me up at 5:30 in the morning asking if I wanted to go for a walk. At first I didn’t want to, but I used to love exercising really early in the morning. Before it got very cold last winter, I would go to the track at 4:00 am before work. The track didn’t have lights but you could see a little bit. It was just me and an old man who probably enjoy it ever since I started going. I would show up and as I passed him he would smile and say hello. I wonder if he is still going to the track at 4 am. Anyways, our walk was nice. It was about a 20-25 minute walk, with a pit stop to wawa for a paper and diet iced tea. During the walk I realized how much stuff Kim and I have in common. She is an amazing girlfriend, and my best friend.

I had an appointment today to take my drain out. All the drains are finally out! It was a great feeling getting the drain out, well…the yanking it out of my stomach was a very weird and sick sensation, but it was worth it. My doctor said I was healing very quickly and was very impressed with how I looked. Everything is still pretty swollen, including my neck which has been bothering me. I want instant results, but she said it takes a while for the final results to appear. I trust her with that, because everything else she did really made me happy. I asked her if I could have my before pictures that she has taken at her office. She is making me copies of them all so I can have just to view and keep my progress recorded. I’m going to start taking progress pictures every two weeks. I can start working out in a week which I am excited about. I’m going to be working out using the New Rules of Lifting.

She also gave me some bad news. I have to take another week off from work. There is no problem with me, it is just that my job is physical and she wants me to relax for another week. A part of me is happy to be off longer, but I think a bigger part of me is really bummed out. My days out of work aren’t too exciting. I just pick up around the apartment and think of as many errands as I can. I wish I could work out atleast, but oh well….gonna just try and enjoy the time I have off.

My doctor is also leaving the hospital she is currently at in the middle of October. This has got me really bummed out, because I just really trusted her after so much time I spent with bettering my life. The first time I seen her I was 290lbs and now I am 100lbs less, and I feel 100x better about my body. She is going to find a good doctor for me, but I know I will miss her. She is a nice lady and did great work on me. I’m glad I had my plastic surgery just in time for her to operate on me and have a few check ups.

I am really bummed out today about the news I received, and early I had a few shots of Jack Daniels. I know I shouldn’t have done it, and regret it, but it was only a couple shots. My girlfriend was going to take me out to cheer me up, but we kind of decided that it wouldn’t be good for our diets.


August 24, 2009

This is my last week off from work, I better enjoy it. Well I called the doctors office, because I was supposed to get my drain taken out. I am still losing too much fluid. Theres probably about 15-20ml of fluid coming out of my stomach per day, I know it doesn’t sound like much…but its better it comes out or may cause an infection.

I feel better, I feel fine actually. I don’t need anymore pain killers or tylenol. I may miss it, because it got me through so much boredom of having nothing to do all day. Today I cleaned the apartment a little, grilled up a bunch of chicken and turkey cutlets, went to the post office, went to wawa, and played a little Madden.

I gained almost all of the weight back over the weekend……I hate it. I still feel if I do great this week I will hit my goal (189lbs on Friday). I’m gonna do it.

I’m not looking forward to going back into work at all. I really don’t mind the work, I just hate the welcome back. I work for Boeing so its a big place and I know a lot of people. This means I will have all this people come up and ask 50 questions about the surgery, this and that, blah blah. Everyone gossips there. Everyone gossips in general. When I was out for my intestine issue there was a rumor going around that I was in a coma…pretty interesting finding that out.


August 18, 2009

I am a little worried about my neck lift. The results so far are not what I had in mind. Its better then it looks but not by much. I hear that it takes weeks for the swelling to wear down and takes 3-6 months for the “final results” to appear….so I could just be worrying over nothing.

I feel really good today. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment to get my drains out. I am not so sure they are ready to come out, because I am still draining fluid quite a bit :(. I am getting Season 3 of Dexter tomorrow from netflix. This show has really grown on me. I’ve always been a fan of learning about serial killers, so this show is right up my alley. Netflix is great for anyone who has spare time and love watching movies….I definitely recommend it.

I have lost 5lbs since Friday. It is mostly water weight from all the swelling so I hope it keeps coming off :). This week I have been tracking again using My diet hasn’t been to great since I had surgery. Being out of work kinda fucks up your regular schedule. I am eating way too many carbs and my sodium level is high. Starting fresh is hard. Not working out is putting a damper on my diet as well.


August 16, 2009

Today I did pretty good on my diet. Its hard to get over a sugar binge, but I am doing okay. I was just craving something sweet or something high in carbs, but I chose to have my usual protein shake instead. Today was pretty relaxing. Kim made a great dinner. She cooked tilapia, grilled potatoes with garlic and onions, and had corn….it was really good. I decided to get Madden 2010 also! It will help speed up my down time. I took some pictures of my surgeries today. My neck doesn’t look much better but it is still so swollen. My stomach is as well. I really can’t wait to get my drains out on Wednesday…I hope. I have to empty the drains out about every 8 hours and it needs to be draining only a certain amount for my doctor to take them out. She will keep them in until the draining isn’t as frequent. Seeing the pictures of my neck got me down, because I paid all this money and it doesn’t look like much changed….but I know that its the swelling. It will take weeks for the swelling to come down and months for the final results. I am a very impatient person. Overall this weekend was pretty relaxing, not too exciting but I enjoyed it. I needed it for recovery. It was nice to not have a hangover I will tell you that.

Today Kim had off of work so I wasn’t bored out of my mind all day. Kim ordered me a white DeSean Jackson jersey for an early birthday present. My birthday is October 2nd, and its on back order so I will probably get it closer to my birthday. She is a sweetheart. jackson jersey  We went to Modell’s and went to the mall.  I wanted to get a new hat, but I real picky with everything I wear.  I basically like plain hats or really basic ones.  Anyways, I didn’t get a new hat, but I found a huge Sudoku book with over 1,000 puzzles for only $5.99 haha

I am the Sudoku master.  I used to think I was good, but now I am just amazing 🙂

After the mall, I got online, because there was a 25% off sale on everything from (if you want me to send you the promo code let me know). So I decided to order an Eagles sweatshirt. I also kinda made Kim pick out something with the Eagles so she could maybe become more of a fan and get into football (I wish!). She picked out a nice shirt. Eagles Sweatshirt philly

So far this has been a sober weekend, and it will probably end up that way. I usually drink a good amount on the weekends, because its when I do not track my foods. Alcohol is probably the worst thing for a diet. Not only does it have the empty calories that do nothing for you, but it leaves your ass dragging the next day. You probably won’t work out the next day and if you do it will be a struggle. Also, instead of burning the fat, your body works on getting the alcohol out of your system first….leaving that fat more easily to store. I haven’t tracked my food in a few weeks now. I was tracking at (which turned into The site has gotten worse and worse. I didn’t want to leave, because the members there were nice and I have gotten to know them. I still visit that site sometimes. Now I track food at It seems like a good site so far. I am going to start tracking again after the weekend is over. Time to start cleaning up my diet…