Friday, 194.5lbs

September 4, 2009

Last night Kim and I went to the bar and drank. I drank a pretty good amount….so much I lost count, probably about 7 shots of Jack and 6-7 beers. I ate a lot of shitty food too. I am real pissed at myself. I know its mostly water weight, but I don’t like failing myself. To make up for it I am not going to drink the rest of the weekend. I’m gonna eat good, but will probably have some pizza for dinner. This morning I was sore from the workout and hungover from drinking. I had about one egg today so far and I don’t have much appetite. I went for a 30 min walk and had a good sweat.

I’m tired of feeling insecure. I have always been insecure about my weight and my stuttering problem. I think way too much and I care way too much. I am tired of caring about what others think of me and putting everything ahead of myself. Its time to ease up on giving a shit. I’m not benefiting anything from it. From now on I am going to be more confident and less insecure. I’m tired of worrying and being jealous. I’m only making things worse for me. I am a competitive person and its making it worse. I’m gonna concentrate more on me.